Living an integrated life

Chantil proposed an interesting topic this week: living an integrated life. I was hesitant only in my knowledge of the word “integrated” and how this word, in the context of our writing, had a narrow-specific meaning. Integration? Like folding yeast into dough or black children into a white school… what were we referring to? Carol clarified it for me by saying “do all aspects of our life line up with what is at the heart of our meditation.” Meditation is my Christian based form of contemplation; the idea of carrying that outward into the world is fundamental. But am I integrating spiritual practice with the rest of life? Good question.

Meditation… the quite mind, drifting through the universe like a sun lit particle in a still room. The journey of soul, the act of reverence, the act of submission that is an act of admission, the amalgamation of ethereal soul and the biology of flesh, blood and bone… or simply sitting. Placing ones self into the cosmos and melding to our unique understanding and interpretation of existence is for me the most incredible facet of existence. All my life I’ve been searching for depth and meaning, especially in the spiritual sense; and I value these spiritual convictions as essential to my soul’s journey. I am most alive when I feel solidarity with creation.

The journey of meditation begins for me with the ringing of a sacred bell. The reverberation and intonation remind me that sound too is an energy force wafting into the cosmos. My breath melds with the tone and I ride them both into silence. Allowing thoughts to dissipate, I give way to a focus on breathing and the physical sensation of relaxation. Often times I will imagine a sacred pitcher pouring a golden light over my head. As the liquid light slowly descends over every inch of my body tension washes away. Until I feel no sensation other than a grounding, and a calming peace. I feel apart of something I cannot physically see. It is often euphoric but just as often a battle to prohibit a busy mind from wondering into thought. Here, after some time in a thoughtless stage I go to what I call prayer, an act of communicating with the higher unseen power… creation. I value this communication and have often seen its manifestation in my life and the lives of my people.

When the ending bell chimes and the silence ends, how do I take this event with me into the everyday world? Can I, and do I integrate it into the routine of my life? My answer is yes and I say this with some certainty. I can feel the foundation of my contemplative life in almost every thing I do. It’s a mindful act sometimes, but just as often it is habitual. That is why when I discovered the Buddhist philosophies I was so amazed at the innate truths that I had discovered without any indoctrination. It seemed to come natural. As often as it is good it is just as often negative. When I see the inherent weakness of my human nature, I also marvel at its resilience. I feel more “Godly,” more sacred in my interpretation of life when I see the melding of my spiritual life with every day life. And that includes all of the faults and weaknesses that come with being a 21st century man. It is as if those faults become the springboard for deepening the spiritual quest.

Yes my integrated life is a mixing of who I am spiritually with who I am as Alfred the farmer, counselor, rancher and modern man. For me it is the perpetual motion of living. Integrating soul with life… can it be any more beautiful?